Any DIY quick fixes for being a total fuckup?

I am such a fucking mess

You’re welcome?

I believe perhaps that I’m unwell
That strumming my fingers
Down the wall opposing the banister
Connecting the dots of odd black marks
And finishing my own withering
Half baked sentences
Stale and smelling of spoilt meat
From five weeks prior
I believe perhaps I’m running on fumes
From a tank of gas
He bought, that put me where I stand
Laid me down on red
Leather couch
For pale lit afternoons
Pressing my body against a glass partition
Between me and this vessel
Of soul and spirit
And no concept of an indoor voice
Here, fast forward three years
And the only thing I’ve found
Is that I’m more lost than ever
I don’t feel as though I began with much
But whatever momentum I built
Has withered away
With my lead poisoned
Acetone, headphone blaring
Blatantly apathetic disposition
Voices overlapping
Volume pressing forward and on and on
Until my head nearly splits
At the nestled seams
And I’m left with less than
When I began

I have done everything backwards

So if this is death
When do I take my first
Breath?

This changes everything.

Is there a support group for sexually frustrated girlfriends, or is this just how women are supposed to feel?

This is me giving up